SoundBytes, Volume 1
These carefully crafted audio sequences are brought to you by the
Internet Multicasting Service.
Adapt or Die.
Versatile actor Arryl P. Masters in a featured clip from from his audition as narrator for one of those wildlife shows. 2.2 Seconds.
Logana's Logana's warning (with hats off to "Lost in Space"). 7.3 Seconds.
We're sure that our proud listeners will know what to do with data that reflects the the pride of accomplishment, Vegas style. 11.4 Seconds.
2.2 Seconds.Connection Failed.
Things are normal. 4.9 Seconds.
The Cappuccino Girl.
Heather, a sophisticated city girl, travels across America looking for sophistication. 10.3 Seconds.
You've triggered Logana's home security system, and she doesn't like it. Put this one in your screen blanker. 15.8 Seconds.
JavaMan grinds it fresh. 12.5 Seconds.
Do it as fast as you can, and then hang around to see what happens. Our hats off to Washington, D.C. 11.0 Seconds.
Road Kill in Motion.
Noted metal-animal band Tungsten Macaque goes country, with hats off to Dr. Marshall T. Rose. 44.4 Seconds.
Is it Wrong?
Veteran actor Arryl P. Masters ponders the ethics of data storage access. 4.2 Seconds.
It Should Work?
Logana is optimistic. 1.1 Seconds.
All Circuits Busy.
To the best of our knowledge, this message is not in use by any telephone company. 13.2 Seconds.
A rare, unauthorized, recording of Logana's unsuccessful audition for local summer stock. 7.3 Seconds.
Lament for Lost Data.
When it's gone, it's gone for good. 25.8 Seconds.
Rick's generic error message. Not recommended for the computationally disabled. 6.6 Seconds.
One Moment, Please...
While you're on hold. 27.2 Seconds.
Logana's warning---authorization is required. Do you have it? 7.4 Seconds.
To Terminate Your Connection.
What are You Doing, Dave?
Your computer needs some answers, and maybe some counseling. 41.4 Seconds.
Ouch! That Hurts!
Logana sees stars. 4.4 Seconds.
Don't You Just Hate That?
Logana sympathizes with your plight. 11.7 Seconds.
Give Me Your Instructions.
Your computer is feeling ambitious today. 12.9 Seconds.
Logana's send-off. 4.0 Seconds.
A mini-anthem featuring Logana sitting in with neo-trash arc-welding band Tungsten Macaque. 2:17.9 minutes.
Logana appreciates the finer things in life. Put this in your makefile for those rare times when you make it through to the clean cycle. 8.2 Seconds.
Some adolescent has been putting bad code on your computer! Hope this one doesn't become the default condition for your digital life. 1.6 Seconds.
Stop It, You're Hurting!
When she's away from the office, sometimes Logana plays rough. 1.8 Seconds.
If you hear this one, you'd better put on your space suit in a hurry. 5.6 Seconds.
Logana's greeting. 4.0 Seconds.
Greetings, Carbon-Based Life Form.
Your computer, feigning difficulty with animal speech, addresses you as the truly inferior biological unit that you are. 3.8 Seconds.
A melodramatic start for your application. 16.8 Seconds.
Oh no! Not again!
For when that problem just keeps on repeating itself, and repeating itself, and repeating itself, and .... 6.7 Seconds.
Fact: Many former cold-war spies now engage in industrial espionage. 51.9 Seconds.